Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Ticked-off Tuesday

Remember the recent post about my awesome cats? Well here's a story about one of them being particularly un-awesome.

McFluffin is the biggest cat we have, yet he is the biggest scaredy cat. Penelope is a real bitch for some reason and hisses at him every time she sees him. (Which is quite sad, since I hoped they would be boyfriend and girlfriend.) Her and Bubsy were weird at first, but after a few weeks everything was fine, they would snuggle and love. Then when we got McFluffin, Penelope hated everybody! She started hissing at Bubsy and McFluffin. Bubsy goes after her too, but that's because he's so stupid he thinks she's playing. McFluffin however runs away and hides like a baby, even though he could knock her lights out with one swipe of his gigantic six-fingered hand. But he doesn't. He's too much of a lover, I guess.

Well, I was worried because McFluffin has been with us about 3 weeks or so and he still doesn't want to come out of the bedroom. He lives on the bed. I call him my "bed-time bear" because he lets you spoon with him and he's always in the bed. My sister-in-law said that he always snuck out at night to eat and use the "facilities", so I assumed that's what was going on, until he gets more comfortable and Penelope gets over her attitude problem. (I think she'll be fine eventually, since her and Bubsy are friends now.) Au contraire mon frère!

I was laying on my bed yesterday evening and I saw McFluffin hop into a shopping bag from the store Express, which I keep my old notes from weaving classes as well as many yards of fabric for weaving. "How cute, McFluffin's in a bag. Aww." HE WAS TAKING AN F'ing PEE IN THE BAG. I was afraid to startle him or try to stop him as he was peeing because I was picturing his pee spraying all over the room. After I recovered from the shock of losing all that fabric and my treasured weaving notes being used as a toilet, it dawned on me...where's he been pooping? If he isn't brave enough to pee in the litter, where is the poop? Well friends, let me tell ya where the poop was. In my closet! Yay. I don't have a regular closet since my apartment was an old post office and there is only one closet in the whole place and it isn't in the bedroom. I use one of those portable type ones from Target that is made of metal rods that fit together. I hung curtains from the frame of the closet so it looks nicer than that nylon covering that is supposed to zip up over the "closet".

The box in my closet which contains my prized Coach bag was covered in cat barf. Luckily, the bag was safe. (I think it was upsetting his stomach to switch foods, but I have to have everyone eat the same stuff. I wouldn't know how to regulate the cats eating different food.) When I picked up the Coach box, I saw it. A mountain of fossilized cat shit. Nice. Disgusted and feeling betrayed, I look further. I decide to pull all my clothes out and really evaluate the situation. Guess what! My clothing that was hanging on the lower bar (there are two bars top one is pants, lower one is my button up shirts) WAS ALL COVERED IN CAT PISS!

Have I been wearing piss clothes and not known it? I do have kind of a lot of clothing from the 3 years I was the women's merchant for the Gap, so maybe I kept getting lucky and didn't pull out piss-clothes. Maybe I've worn sweaters everyday since we've gotten McFluffin and since I keep those folded on a shelf in the linen closet in the bathroom they were not victimized by my cat. (Yes, in the bathroom with my towels. No closets, remember?) I threw out all the white/light colored stuff that was violated and I am washing all the dark stuff that I am assuming was pissed on, but I can't be certain. If it smells funny after washing, I'm tossing it. I do not know how I didn't smell any of this in the bedroom.

So, if you've thought that I smelled like cat piss for the last few weeks, I apologize.


Liz said...

Aw dude that sucks! Nature's Miracle will break down cat piss proteins from anything. You CAN get the smell out. Adding baking soda to the wash will remove the smell as well. And if it's REALLY bad adding Nature's Miracle with baking soda to the wash will do the trick. You may have to do it twice but it will come out. I have a particularly bad cat myself. If I leave ANY kind of clothing on the floor, it is guaranteed to be pissed on by him.

Kathleen said...

OMG!!! How awful! Like the first commenter, get Nature's Miracle. That shit does work miracles.

Cat piss is oily, believe it or not, so neutralizing it with baking soda should help. Soak your stuff in the tub with a large box of baking soda, then wash wash wash.

We have issues with Oscar, our cat, but fortunately he prefers the basement walls. And our front door.